Miscellaneous Ramblings
The following are
various samples of my rather sporadic attempts at writing. They are presented
here in relatively random order.
FuturePast
Patience. Reprise
The Road
Awakened
Excerpts from A Journal of Conscious
In windswept stillness
to wait
and wonder...
The future is already
past
The framework laid.
under cover of starlit darkness,
mystery
and higher magic.
My ponderings of things
yet to come.
A course already plotted
through non-linear time
on a quiet, higher plane.
Structured chaos theory
-
multiple events
occurring
in perfect syncopation,
but appearing both
random
and fractured
Through the twisted, veiled
perception
of this lower reality.
Leading me, barefoot,
down a rocky path...
to her
In the end,
I wish my soul to reach
this saturation
with pure, unrequited love.
It is all I ever wanted.
This feeling persists -
although he believes it should not
The familiar, soothing face
of another
Her identity lost...
far within the depths
of his recollection
A nagging sense
of deja vu
knowledge, even
in love
never fully realized
With a soulmate
only existing
but in the half-life
of distant memory
Once again,
it fades away...
He cannot remember
Winding paths
of stone and clay
Each whispering stories
of a uniquely trodden way
Every road has a history...
Traveling
cross-country,
I saw many roads
less traveled
And I wondered -
where do they lead?
Who lives at the end
of these long,
silent streets?
Thoroughfares of pavement
or dirt
leading to our hearts
and homes
Forgotten neighbors,
friends, lost
in the haze of
ancient memories
Where did they all go?
Energy flows -
rhythmic vibration
Souls
calling to eachother
over lifetimes
of chosen separation
A lonely traveler
on a jagged, rocky path
until this moment...
My heart is suddenly open
Love,
long abandoned
in dense
painful memory,
washes over me
A deep wellspring,
once dry and dormant,
floods with emotion
My cup runneth over
Excerpts from my ongoing book project, A Journal of Conscious:
After all the nervous energy of youth has passed - all the delusions of grandeur, the arrogance of self-importance, the poisonous sexual tension, the darkness of adolescence, the killing fields of young love, the addiction to material status, the steady drowning of the soul in a shallow and socially acceptable pool of conceited lies, comes the realization of life's intrinsic emptiness...
Emptiness only pre-empted by a loneliness. The kind of solitude achieved only after one has finally severed all ties with what is false and meaningless in his or her life. A level of understanding where your loved ones, family and closest friends, become the most valuable things to legitimately covet and honestly cherish. Because they will not live forever. Because they, like you, are all on loan to one another in this life.
And then you hope to make a true difference within your own narrow scope of influence. That you might somehow positively affect other people in some fruitful and constructive way, representing a means to some greater humane and compassionate end. That you somehow played a part in something more meaningful - than just yourself.
It is all any of us can wish for in this life, and comprises much of the hope within myself, as well.
--
There is a feeling I get...a moment of breathless anticipation that just overwhelms me sometimes. It's as if I'm about to fall into an abyss or step into some dark unknown. I fear and, at the same time, trust it implicitly.
--
Life is comprised of a menagerie of sensory experiences. They can be wonderful and at the same time terrible. They can scar for life, yet still bring a smile to your face. There is cruel, random lack of order to them when they happen, but patterns do eventually emerge. And then you begin to vaguely recognize an underlying theme to each pattern, no matter how nonsensical it first appears.
There is a real element of chaos to life, but also one of structure. Perhaps it is best described as structured chaos theory. Basically, things happen at random, but they serve to support a higher, almost imperceptible purpose; a cosmic structure, if you will. This plan typically manifests itself in moments of rare insight...
--
The time frame we wish for things within is rashly smaller than that of the speed in which they usually occur. I used to want everything to happen right now. I've come to understand that all things come to pass in the proper cosmic time allocated for them - and in no duration longer or shorter. So many things in my life I waited for...in vain, because they weren't ready to happen yet.
And neither was I.
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Last Updated 1.6.03